เรื่องตลกชวนสาวออกเดท

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นาย A: เพื่อน… ตูอยากชวนน้องหมวยดาวคณะออกเดทว่ะ ชวนไปกินข้าวหรือช็อปปิ้งดีกว่ากัน
นาย B: เชื่อตู ดูหนังก่อน
นาย A : หนังรักโรแมนติกหรือหนักตลกดี
นาย B : หนังหน้ามรึ.. อ่ะ ดูก่อน
นาย A : !!!

The Architect

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One Sunday, an architect visited Seoul, Korea. He was there for a conference buthad all
Sunday to explore the city. He decided to take a taxi around the city and see lots of sites.
He paid the taxi driver $100 and said, “Take me around Seoul and show me all the sites”
The taxi driver was very happy for the business and started driving. Immediately, they saw a
big, beautiful palace.
The architect said in a loud voice (for he was from Texas). “What is the building?”
The taxi driver said, “That is Gyeongbokgung. It took almost 20 years to build!
“Ah, that’s nothing” replied the American. “We could build that in a year in America.
The driver continued driving. Suddenly the Texan saw a large domed building. He asked,
“What building is that?” The taxi driver said, “That is the National Assembly, it is the largest
in Asia.”
The architect replied, “Ah, that’s nothing. Back home, we could build that in a few weeks!”
The taxi driver continued driving. They passed a very high, gold building which shimmered
in the sun. The architect jumped up in his seat and screamed, “Oh my god! What building is
that?”
The taxi driver looked back at him and shook his head.
He said, “I DON’T KNOW. IT WASN’T THERE THIS MORNING!”

The Genie

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a German were travelling in a boat from France to
Australia. Unfortunately, the boat sank but the three men swam to a small island.
There was nobody on the island and the men waited for two months. No boat came to rescue
them. They were very unhappy.
“We will have to live here forever.” said the Englishman

“ We will have to eat bananas every day.” said the German
“We will never see our families again.” said the Frenchman.
One day, while walking along the beach, they found a bottle. They opened the bottle and out
came a genie. The genie said, “Thank you for letting me out of the bottle. I wasinside for
500 years! Now I am free. I will give you each one wish.”
The German said, “I want to be back in German at a soccer game. With a beer and sausage
and singing songs in the stadium.”
“POOF”, “Your wish is granted” said the genie. The German was back in Germany.
The Frenchman said, “I want to be at the dinner table with my family in France, eating
cheese, drinking wine.”
“POOF”, “Your wish is granted” said the genie. The Frenchman was back in France.
The Englishman just looked at the genie. The genie said, “Hurry up! I want to enjoy my
freedom.”
The Englishman thought for a moment and said, “I am rather lonely here. Can you bring back
my two friends?”
“Poof”, the German and the Frenchman were back on theisland.

THE BIRTHDAY PRESENT

A woman needed to buy her mother a birthday present. She didn’t know what to buy her
mother. She only had one day to buy her mother something.
So she went out window shopping. Soon enough, she walked by a pet store window. She
thought to herself, “What a lovely idea for a present! My mother is so lonely and she needs a
pet.”
The woman went into the store and saw many wonderful animals. Puppy  dogs, fluffy cats,

gold fish, cute mice. But the woman didn’t think these were special  enough. She asked the
manager if he had a pet that was really special.
The manager thought for a moment and replied, “Yes, but it costs a lot of money. $5,000”
“I have a parrot that can speak 7 languages, Chinese, English,  French, Korean, German,
Russian and even Hindi!”
The woman said, “Perfect” and bought the bird. She sent it by special delivery to her mother,
so she would get it the next day.
The next evening after work, the woman called her mother. She asked,“How do you like
your birthday present.”
Her mother replied, “Thank you, IT’S DELICIOUS!”

IT’S THE BUTCHER!

An old woman was lonely. She decided to get a pet. She didn’t have much money so she
went to a second hand pet shop.
She saw many animals: a three legged cat, a dog without a tail, fish that could only swim
backwards and a beautiful bird that could only say one thing, “Who is it?”. She decided to

buy the bird. She bought a cage for her bird and went home. She put the bird bythe door and
went downtown to do some shopping.
While she was gone, a man knocked on the door.
“Who is it?” replied the parrot.
“It’s the butcher,” he said.
“Who is it?”, repeated the bird.
“It’s the butcher,” said the man.
“Who is it?” asked the parrot.
“It’s the butcher!!,”, said the man angrily.
“Who is it?” “It’s the butcher!!!!”, he screamed.
“Who is it?” “It’s the butcher, the butcher, the butch...”
Suddenly the butcher fell to the floor. He had had a heart attack.
Later that day, the old woman came home and found the man laying on her doorstep. She
opened her door and asked the parrot, “Who is it?” . The parrot replied,
“It’s the butcher!”

The Dog

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Linda Robinson was very thirsty so she went into a cafe. There was an old woman in the cafe.
She was sitting near the door at a table. At her feet, under the table, there wasa small dog.
Linda bought a glass of lemonade and some cookies. She sat down at the table next to theold
woman. The old woman sat quietly. She looked lonely. Linda decided to be kind and talk to

the old woman.
“It is very hot today.” she said.
“Yes, but it is nice inside here.” replied the old woman.
Linda looked at the dog and asked, “Does your dog like people.”
The woman answered, “Oh! Yes! She loves people.”
Linda wanted to give the dog a cookie. So she asked, “ Does your dog like cookies?”
“They are his favourite food.” said the old lady.
Linda was terribly afraid of dogs so she asked, “Does your dog bite?”
The old woman smiled and said, “ NO! My dog is very tame. She is even afraid of cats!”
Linda took a cookie in her hand and reached under the table. She put it near the dog’s mouth.
But the dog didn’t bite the cookie, she bit her hand! Linda jumped up, spilling herlemonade.
She screamed, “I thought you said, your dog didn’t bite.”
The old woman looked at Linda and then at the dog. Then she said,
“THAT’S NOT MY DOG!”